I’m sitting in the back of a Ford F150.No, I am not down south, or in the outback. I am with my host father and son in China. We are driving down some middle of the no where road. chatting about life and china. We are on a road trip through the mountains of northern china. It is beautiful the sun is playing peekaboo with us as we are going up and down the mountains , we start passing  Ancient temple and huge industrial nuclear power plants. I think to my self how odd this country is, but I am brought back to the F150 with a question to my host father?

What are we going to be doing/ are we there yet?

He laughs and say that we are going to be going on to a hike. OK, “What kind of hike” Andy my host son says, in a tired tone like he was trying to convey just how bored he is. But my host father is not deterred.I feel like in a more chipper voice then a man that has his balls in a vice says. “A fun one we will Get to stand on the top of a mountain”

My host sun sits up and smiles that will be cool he says.

After that we just sit and listen to some tunes.

And time passes…….

….30 min….

….1 h….

….1.5h…

I am starting to feel a little hungry so I bring all of my courage and ask if we can stop somewhere and get something to eat. Right then Andy says he would like some candy. My host father nods and tells me in the next town we can stop and get something to eat. After about 10 mins we make it to a “town” I put it in quotation because I don’t think there was more then 2 houses and a hole in the wall .

Once we parked I hopped out and stretched like I was trying to glide my hand under the clouds. And start to wonder. My Chines fam are off doing there thing. I turn a corner and see two old men playing cards on a old table made of what looks like bamboo from the Qin dynasty.They Are taking long drags from there beer As if they where trying to breath it. as I walk in to there view they check me out. Or “do a once over” as the kids say these days.

I smile and say hello, they nod. As they do that my I Locks on to a Huge bowl. One of the ones they use to wash there rags in. The old men smile like there is. inside joke about to be played. I walk over and look in the bowl. And it was full of scorpions. hundreds of them. It was a writhing black ball of ugly.

My Voice stutters a little I ask what is that for and they say to eat!!!! I step back. I remember it is on my bucket list to eat scorpion so I tell the old men that I will be right back I was going to ask my host.I was basically dragging my host sun and father over and I ask if we can eat this for dinner. Andy was keen and surprisingly so was my host father so we ask if we can get a plate the old men call out and tell us to sit down. We sit 

In the restaurant It looks like there has been nobody there in 30 years the walls have Old time worn posters of emperor Mao. And there was a layer of dust at was thinker then a Winnipeg snow storm (for people that are not form Canada that is a fuck tun) But we still sit after a few mins The cutes old lady come out and ask what we would like.

It may have been just me but it looks like my host father puffed out his chest then he ask for a plate of scorpion and a few sodas. She nods and goes off in to the depth of the house. after a few mins she comes out with a plate of what looks like corn chip and on top there is about 30 fried scorpion. she then tells us not to eat the tail it is still sharp but the rest is good to eat.  

We all pick one up and look at one another in that way of a group of 3rd grader look at just before a dare. then we pop it in are mouths (with out the tail) and chew.

It dose not test like chicken it  dose not taste like pork it tastes like peanuts it is good like really good we all smile and start munching the chips and bugs. I think to my self how odd the moment. then faster then they where made there are gone we pay and go off to do are hike with a full belly and another cool story.