Stuck in a line again! Or at least that’s what I thought as I was walking up to the Madame Tussauds building. It’s a huge monolithic dome and looks like a cross between a science centre and a Victorian mansion.

I see huge throngs of people sitting and waiting in line, they seem like they been there for hours and I start recording instantly what is going on. Rachael’s aunt then pulls us off to side to a secret door, saying that she has season tickets and we don’t have to wait in line.

I almost peed myself with excitement realizing that it’s gonna be a lot of fun. We stand in a special line and only wait a couple seconds. Rachael poked me in the back and asked me to hide her bottle of Dr Pepper incase they find it and confiscate it. I feel like I’m a drug dealer sneaking it in but it’s only a drink! I put in my pocket and act cool, I chat and make the staff laugh as they do their scans, they’re as thorough as a four-year-old looking for Waldo but we get through with the drink and straight into an elevator. It says it only holds eight people but 10 -12 people push their way in. “Ah hell” I think to myself, thinking how crowded it is.

We eventually make it up in this old lumbering elevator to the star studded room full of fake photographers, camera sounds and people yelling left right and centre….. Actually that might’ve been real.

This room is filled with 20 or 30 different dummies… OK well maybe a lot more than that but there are also wax statues of famous people standing there stockstill, ready to get their photo taken. Me and Rachael sneak our way through the huge throngs of people hearing many different languages and seeing people with many different cameras, from old disposable ones to Nikons that are worth $20,000. I think that I have a pretty good camera but I’ll always have camera envy. After taking some nice photos of myself and Rachael sitting with some very famous people I laughed and joked that we should get out of this party, and we make our way with our elbows through the groups of people in the hopes that we could eventually get out.

We find Rachael’s family looking just about as lost as we are, wandering to and from this area full of movie sets. It has everything from Die Hard to ET. We all are laughing as we start getting our photos taken and enjoy seeing all these famous people. I never realized Charlie Chaplin was so short but man he can rock that moustache! A lot better than Hitler at least (interesting fact – did you know Hitler had his moustache like that because he needed to be able to put a gas mask on during World War I). From there we moved to an alien-filled area with screams and the Alien creeping up on the roof. This is where I get one of my favourite photos of Rachael pretending that she’s stuck behind a door screaming like she’s going to get ripped apart by the alien, it’s a mixture of comedy and horror just like our lives and our dating! I love her even more because of this photo, we both give a giggle once we look at it and we move onto the next photo opportunity. From there we all wander through to the next area. This one is a superhero 4D short movie.

It was filled with all the clichés, plus vibrating seats, giant things jetting out into your back pretending that you’re getting poked and everything that makes London what it is, including Buckingham palace too. A double decker bus was there with the superheroes – Hulk, Iron Man and a couple of other ones I really could care less about it, it was about as cheesy as you think it was… maybe even a little bit cheesier. I tried to get into it but all I could do was make nihilistic jokes, it seemed so childish but the kids enjoyed it so that’s good. From there we stand up and walk out of the movie theatre. I think about how funny it is that this movie plays over and over again, hell if I was the super villain I’d give up after the 300th time of being thrown into a black cab but that’s just me. I can’t quite remember what the next thing was as it was all kind of a blur if I’m not mistaken it was where we got to meet famous people from sports and history. This is where I get a photo of me kissing the Queen and Winston Churchill, standing near to Boris Johnson. From there we move on and we sit in a little black cab. Oh I didn’t know there was a ride in here! I’m just happy to sit at this point as we sneak along in these little mini black cabs through the history of London. There’s statues that fall right in the uncanny valley with a small mixture of jerky unrealistic movements. Damn I sound like I’m not enjoying this but this is the biggest comedy I’ve ever seen, it’s a mixture of small world and parts of the Caribbean and I love it. I think to myself how funny it would be to be on acid right now with the mixture of real and fake in this building.

It is quite tentative and there’s been many times where I pass a person thinking it’s a statue to see them walk away, but after this ride we go on to see the Star Wars section. This is where Rachael’s face lights up as she gets to stand and hang with all of her favourite characters in her favourite movies. I’ve never seen the woman I love so happy. After a couple minutes of laughing and getting photos taken we eventually make it to the end or at least that’s what I thought – there’s always the gift shop at the end. Me and Rachael quickly run through it not wanting to get tempted by anything. The first step in to real civilization with fresh clean air blowing past me was quite beautiful and so was the experience to go to Madame Tussauds. Granted this post was a little nihilistic but I really did have a lot of fun. I’m just surprised how many people go to Madame Tussauds, they’re making a lot of money but I do wish that you all get a chance to go to. Just make sure that it’s not on the weekend, find a good time when there’s less people and it’s a lot more enjoyable.

I love you all and I hope you enjoy the post remember to enjoy your travels and enjoy life! Love dane